Edward de Bono, The secret source of humour itself is not joy, but sorrow. George Carlin, Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things. Ms. Pacman, for 25 cents that b*tch swallowed balls till she died. Oscar Wilde, A woman’s mind is cleaner that a man’s; She changes it more often. See more ideas about quotes, stupid people, stupid people quotes. Daily Horoscope : 3/8/2021 Aries. However, this can be damaging in the long run. Bill Murray, There are only three things women need in life: food, water and compliments. Men marry women hoping they will not. Jon Stewart, Insomnia is my greatest inspiration. Ellen DeGeneres, I think beauty comes from actually knowing who you are. Will Ferrell, Whenever someone calls me ugly I get super sad and hug them, because I know how tough life is for the visually impaired. Discover (and save!) Parshah Doses. Women learn to become attracted to the man they fall in love with. I was an altar boy, and I was good at it. ", "Yesterday is but today's memory, and tomorrow is today's dream. #FitnessGoals https://twitter.com/billburr. She was so excited when I got home and told her. Ellen DeGeneres, Accept who you are, unless you’re a serial killer. Words To Live By: Daily Wisdom. I was born to be awesome, not perfect. Friedrich Nietzsche, Angels can fly because they take themselves lightly; devils fall because of their gravity. Rodney Dangerfield Click to tweet, Rice is great when you’re hungry and you want 2000 of something. Woody Allen, Men learn to love the woman they are attracted to. A daily, constant flow of wisdom, experience and learnings from others who understand the world deeply; who had glimpses in its various corners and understand its various nuances. ", "Always do right. Read them again, and you will perceive their depth. Groucho Marx, Learn from the mistakes of others. So far, so good. You can do whatever you put your mind to, no matter how big the obstacle. Chris Rock, Only dumb people try to impress smart people. Mike Vanatta. Mark Twain, School is learning things you don’t want to know, surrounded by people you wish you didn’t know, while working toward a future you don’t know will ever come. Jun 13, 2013 - This Pin was discovered by Jada Yarnall. “Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he’ll believe you. It doesn’t matter if it’s a table or a film or gardening – everyone should create. 30,000+ daily wisdom with wise quotes. Sometimes I want to go back in time and punch myself in the face. See more ideas about wisdom, words, wise words. iPhone/iPad app. Authors. Regardless of these debates, what is interesting is that even virtual currency... Strategic or Tactical Programming? Here’s how my brain works: it’s stupidity, followed by self-hatred, and then further analysis. People think once they’ve come to the end of their rope, that’s it. Not to mention, your days are spoiled because you spend your time fussing instead of accepting the things you can’t change. They don’t have a choice. Sentinel 0810 (4) 4. Friedrich Nietzsche, You grow up the day you have your first real laugh at yourself. I hope it will last. It’s about small, daily input of selected, high-quality thoughts and wisdom. One liners, short funny quotes, sayings, thoughts and captions for your bio, social status, self-talk, motto, mantra, signs, posters, wallpapers, backgrounds, tattoos, SMS, Facebook, WhatsApp, Snapchat, Tumblr, Twitter, Pinterest, Instagram, etc. Robin Williams, See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time. Kevin Hart, All I can do is try to create my own brand and have people appreciate me for that. Funny Wisdom Quotes That Will Make Your Day. If we’re not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge. If you need some enlightenment, these quotes are just what you need to get in a better mood. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. ", "Do not hire a man who does your work for money, but him who does it for love of it. Was it “PuppyMonkeyBaby”? Please cancel my subscriptions to your issues. Hug yourself. Search. Miracles start to happen when you give as much energy to your dreams as you do to your fears. I like to think of it as one of our greatest earliest natural resources, which must be preserved at all cost. Stephen Colbert, The summer movies are coming out! Product Details: Size: 5 1/4"L x 4 1/4"W x 1 1/2"D We understand that life can sometimes get you down, so we hope these quotes were able to make you laugh. Aim Falling Us. Ellen DeGeneres, Life is short. There’s a silver lining in everything; you just have to look for it. By Amara Onuh. Zach Galifianakis, I think those neighborhood signs that say ‘slow children playing’ are so very mean. Jim Carrey, You know the trouble with real life? Be honest. Mar 21-Apr 19. Robin Williams, Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves? Ryan Reynolds, We’re not kissing. Louis C.K. Jimmy Fallon, Thank you, Apple, for adding a camera to the iPod Nano. Related Article: ​​​​​​​20 Funny Knock Knock Jokes​​​. These funny wisdom quotes are specially selected from experts to ease your tension. About. Mitch Hedberg, Scientists now believe that the primary biological function of breasts is to make men stupid. ", "Recompense injury with justice, and recompense kindness with kindness. Inspiring, Success, Dream. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read. My schedule is already full. Scott Adams (Dilbert), The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one. George Carlin Click to tweet, If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? Funny. Visit the quotations page for more quotes. JOIN US ON FACEBOOK. Advertising. This is another one of those funny words of wisdom that hits the nail on the head. Tina Fey, As the wise man once said, ‘So?’. The Road Ahead for Software Engineers — Data Driven Investor, From Conventional to Collaborative Engineering — Data Driven Investor, The Art of Building Embedded Systems for IoT, The Art of Quantification — Data Driven Investor, Embedding Cyber Trust Into The Black Box — Data Driven Investor, Using, but Still Not Understanding the Internet, Getting into the Spirit of the Programming Paradigms, Human Infrastructure over Digital Infrastructure — Data Driven Investor. Tina Fey, It will never be perfect, but perfect is overrated. 174 talking about this. Quote of the Day: Saturday, March 06, 2020 My family might be crazy, but they're my kind of crazy. I left early. It is only painful for others. Life is long. Wendy Mass. These funny words of wisdom from Franklin Roosevelt provide the perfect analogy for how to get through hard times. Related topics: Inspirational Live-By. Mark Twain, What’s another word for Thesaurus? So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance. If you ran like your mouth, you’d be in good shape. Explore 1000 Daily Quotes by authors including Zig Ziglar, Pablo Picasso, and John C. Maxwell at BrainyQuote. Also no. But if you know anything about Bill Gates, then you realize he’s not the nerd anyone should have picked on. Wife: Well, wait, let me get my coat. ❝ Wisdom quotes is an application that offers you thousands of incredible wisdom sayings and words of wisdom that were selected from the best phrases of all time.❞You can CREATE, DOWNLOAD and SHARE all our exclusive wisdom stories in all your social networks. Jon Stewart, I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. Scopri Daily Wisdom: Sayings of the Prophet Muhammad di Kidwai, Abdur Raheem: spedizione gratuita per i clienti Prime e per ordini a partire da 29€ spediti da Amazon. When you need to escape from your emotions, the best thing to do is get some comedic relief. George Carlin, Try explaining Hitler to a kid. My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do. Jimmy Fallon, I don’t even read the papers. Ricky Gervais. Lily Tomlin Click to tweet, See also: creativity quotes, famous quotes, attitude quotes, This suspense is terrible. Smile while you still have teeth. Unless you’re a serial killer. Jan 22, 2021 - Explore Gregory's board "Daily Wisdom", followed by 750 people on Pinterest. Henny Youngman, There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate. People are taking the comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke. But maybe, if you get shot by the dude you were shooting at, it’s a tiny bit your fault. Daily Life; Inspiring People; Book Club; An Edgy, Funny, ‘Great’ Novel. Will Ferrell, Facebook: What’s on your mind? Each post takes less than 2 minutes to read, but the daily ritual of attending to these writings can be enormously fruitful. Eddie Murphy, I’m sadistic. Then, I started meeting girls and I’m like ‘You know, maybe I shouldn’t be a Priest.’ Jimmy Fallon, Honestly, I just want to keep people awake. RANDOM QUOTES. Am I perfect? Oscar Wilde, A man falls in love through his eyes, a woman through her ears. Jon Stewart, If you don’t stick to your values when they’re being tested, they’re not values” they’re hobbies. Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email. See more ideas about wisdom, inspirational quotes, words. If you liked reading these funny words of wisdom, share this post of your social media and leave us a quote below! I like to kick people when they’re up. What was your favorite Super Bowl Ad? Anonymous says: February 12, 2019 at 6:40 am . Sometimes you have to laugh to keep from crying and hopefully these quotes will put you in good spirits. Woody Allen, I believe there is something out there watching us. Chris Rock, If you can keep your son off the pipe and your daughter off the pole, you’re ahead of the game. God made Adam first because he didn’t want any advice from Eve how to make Adam. If you go around all the rakes in your way, you miss a priceless experience. Do not seek it without. by Brad Hirschfield. Aparna Nancherla (Twitter), In this horrible time, let us at least be bolstered by small miracles like finding out your ex moved to a different city. View the list The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails. Focus on the positive. It is a business asset. George Bernard Shaw, Good humor is a tonic for mind and body. Unknown, I’m actually not funny. We’re feeding each other like baby birds. Robin Williams, The only weapon we have is comedy. Jimmy Fallon, If you’re a sports fan you realize that when you meet somebody, like a girlfriend, they kind of have to root for your team. Click to tweet, All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height. Chris Rock, If a woman tells you she’s twenty and looks sixteen, she’s twelve. And his clock metaphor is genius. Words Of Wisdom Quotes “1. Jerry Seinfeld, You know you’re getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. You can’t do nothing by yourself. John Mason Brown, Why do men like intelligent women? ", "Decide who you must be, then do what you must do. Click to tweet. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. wisdom definition: 1. the ability to use your knowledge and experience to make good decisions and judgments: 2. the…. Tina Fey, What turning forty means to me? Kevin Hart (Video), First off, my kids know I’m a big deal. George Carlin, If you’re too open-minded; your brains will fall out. Steve Martin Click to tweet, You know what your problem is, it’s that you haven’t seen enough movies – all of life’s riddles are answered in the movies. by Irwin Kula. Abe Lemons, Education can get you the only thing that really matters in today’s world – an assigned parking space. Jimmy Fallon, New Scientist magazine reported that in the future, cars could be powered by hazelnuts. Life is like riding a bicycle. Also it lights up your big dumb face. Chris Rock, I live in a neighborhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot. Steven Wright, I went to a meeting for premature ejaculators. It is not something only the educated have. Will Rogers, I came from a real tough neighborhood. ", "Ignorance is the night of the mind, but a night without moon and star. Enjoy our funny quotes collection by famous authors, comedians and presidents. Charri (9) 3. I ain’t going to sleep with nobody. It’s kind of ironic. Steve Martin, I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. Woody Allen, The word abbreviation sure is long for what it means. I spent 113 880 hours of my life for a paper and a handshake. You know what I need? Clouds come floating into my life, no longer to carry rain or usher storm, but to add color to my sunset sky. A turtle off the road is a turtle with a future. Jimmy Fallon, I have complete faith in the continued absurdity of whatever’s going on. One motto on the show is, ’Keep your facts, I’m going with the truth.’ Stephen Colbert, When the president decides something on Monday, he still believes it on Wednesday – no matter what happened Tuesday. Tina Fey, Blorft’ is an adjective I just made up that means completely overwhelmed but proceeding as if everything is fine and reacting to the stress with the torpor of a possum. Explore 1000 Daily Quotes by authors including Zig Ziglar, Pablo Picasso, and John C. Maxwell at BrainyQuote. Communications. Bill Vaughan, The human brain is special. Plus, it really teaches the baby who’s boss. Words Of Wisdom Quotes “1. The important thing to remember is that it’s okay to be authentic and embrace all facets of yourself and your life. Golda Meir (This is one of my favorite funny quote. Ricky Gervais, It’s a strange myth that atheists have nothing to live for. However, there are lots of eternal brakes. Lean in real close and whisper, it’s much scarier. Polish Proverb, If I had asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses. Will Ferrell, Facebook is like jail, you sit around and waste time, you write on walls and you get poked by people you don’t know. Steven Wright, I wrote a few children’s books… not on purpose. Have worth. No. We have everything to live for. Can’t we just love everybody and judge them by the car they drive? I’m a day person. ", "What should young people do with their lives today? Ricky Gervais, If you spend your days doing what you love, it is impossible to fail. Ricky Gervais, No one wants to see cool people doing brilliantly. Here is our list of funny words of wisdom. Ryan Reynolds, If you find me, please let me know where the hell I’ve been. Steve Martin, Be so good they can’t ignore you. Is ‘ugh’ an emotion? Rodney Dangerfield, That’s why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it. And if that’s the case, try a different method of handling your situation. Jim Carrey, The one thing you shouldn’t do is try to tell a cab driver how to get somewhere. Jon Stewart, Religion. "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself." Jim Carrey, My focus is to forget the pain of life. A meaningful life is not about being rich, being popular, being highly educated or being perfect…it is about being real, being humble, being strong and being able to share ourselves and touch the lives of others.” “2. New wise words with wisdom stories about love every day. George Bernard Shaw, Don’t yell at your kids! Such an oversimplification would result in the misidentification of the solution. You don’t have to take life so seriously, even if you haven’t had a good one. Steve Martin, First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. Kevin Hart, I hate when new parents ask who the baby looks like ! But the most daring thing is to create stable communities in which the terrible disease of loneliness can be cured. Kathy Lette, When a man brings his wife flowers for no reason, there’s a reason. I just go normal from time to time. “Listen, smile, agree, and then do whatever you were gonna do anyway.“ – Robert Downey Jr. 72. , You Owe Me a Murder Family Quotes Positive Quotes for the Day: Be sure to appreciate your family each day and thank God for their presence in your life. Teach them to question what they read, teach them to question everything. He said I was being ridiculous – everyone hasn’t met me yet. Steven Wright Click to tweet, Tomorrow is often the busiest day of the week. Not only that, there’s nothing wrong with laughing at yourself. I’m just really mean and people think I’m joking. See more ideas about wisdom, words, quotes. Mark Twain, If a book about failures doesn’t sell, is it a success? Robin Williams, If women ran the world we wouldn’t have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days. Jerry Seinfeld, Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom. Even fish that talk. Funny Puns. Well, these funny words of wisdom will put a light-hearted spin on some heartfelt issues. My nickname is ‘Mom’, but my full name is ‘Mom Mom Mom Mom Mom Mom’. Edgar Watson Howe Click to tweet, Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance. Bill Watterson, Education is what remains after one has forgotten what one has learned in school. Robin Williams, Never pick a fight with an ugly person, they’ve got nothing to lose. Ryan Reynolds, Anyone know the number to 911? If you are lonely, dim all lights and put on a horror movie. Spanish proverb Click to tweet, When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible. Steve Martin, Chaos in the midst of chaos isn’t funny, but chaos in the midst of order is. When all else fails, read the instructions. The Book of Purpose. George Carlin, We’re all fucked. I mean, I’m a mom. Joan Rivers Click to tweet, Reality continues to ruin my life. He’s basically saying that even when things seem wrong, there’s something going right, even if you don’t see it. Yet. I knew he wasn’t a professional, the knife had butter on it. Ricky Gervais, Being on the edge isn’t as safe, but the view is better. Which haircut will make sure it never meets anyone? You get married, you’re no longer an individual. And laughter truly is the best medicine for your soul. The prince was notably … And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. What you are is a liar food. ‘Us’, ‘we’, ‘let’s’, honey, come on partner. But I do know a woman who’d be mad at me for saying that. Words of wisdom can be just the thing you need to get out of a sticky situation, or to avoid one. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience. There is no perpetual engine in the world. My body is contained within the limitlessness of my soul. Jimmy Fallon, I wanted to be a Priest at one point. Inherently Funny is a free, searchable database of inherently funny advice, words , sayings, phrases, people, animals, and other things. Billy Sunday, Never trust people who smile constantly. Rodney Dangerfield Click to tweet, I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people. Bill Watterson, Never go to bed mad. Jim Carrey, I can tell you that the effect you have on others is the most valuable currency there is. Bill Murray, Don’t think about your errors or failures, otherwise you’ll never do a thing. Rodney Dangerfield, Marriage…it’s not a word, it’s a sentence. Ryan Reynolds, Went to Disneyland because my daughter’s obsessed with Mickey Mouse. Wisdom is the distilled knowledge that is created through experience and insight. It is easy to use just the screen to see all the spiritual wisdom. The first time I see a jogger smiling, I’ll consider it. "Keep calm and carry on." It’s physically impossible, so why bother? Rodney Dangerfield, Women marry men hoping they will change. Mark Twain, Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired. You’re really living it. Taurus. Wisdom To Heal the Earth. Quotazioni, capitalizzazione, analisi tecnica, grafici interattivi e ultime notizie sul titolo WISDOMTREE NATURAL GAS 3X DAILY LEV Are you in need of a little laughter? The richer the better! Dave Chappelle, You know you must be doing something right if old people like you. The Month Wisdom Quotes Positive Quotes for the Day: That is the secret to wisdom: When you desire wisdom as you have just desired air, then you will have it. I definitely want to contribute to that. You have no idea what potential lies inside of someone and who they’ll become. Saying ‘yes’ leads to knowledge. You can’t do nothing by yourself when you get married. Mike Vanatta, Crying is for plain women. If you are looking for funny sayings and phrases, which represent wisdom, you have to read through the sayings in this page. What she said in this quote is so profound because she’s acknowledging her strength. Tools; Hacker News; Authors:: Daily Wisdom. It’s hard to be anything. Some day I intend reading it. Professions. Molly McGee, Men are like a deck of cards. ", "We are formed and molded by our thoughts. “Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.” —Oscar Wilde “The harder you fall, the higher you bounce.” —Anonymous “A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous.” —Ingrid Bergman “When one is at home, he dreams of adventure. Kevin: Bit__, it’s right there on the corner. Aug 23-Sept 22 Change Wind Sails. Ellen DeGeneres, Why don’t they give us things we can actually use? July 23-Aug 22. Saved by Gavin Crombie. The dead might as well try to speak to the living as the old to the young. Chelsea Handler. This quote is so true. Bill Murray, I don’t believe that you can give the same performance every take. Everyone needs to comedic relief from time to time, especially when navigating the woes of life. Wisdom is knowledge leavened by love, tempered by prudence and structured by values. Now I drink in front of a mirror. Wisdom is the invisible gift that makes our lives better on planet earth. Leo. Bette’s quote is the perfect analogy for how even “small” people can have big impact. Life is not a fairy tale, if you lose your shoe at midnight, you’re drunk. ", "Peace comes from within. we collected the most energize 157+ Positive thoughts with images “The quickest way to acquire self-confidence is to do exactly what you are afraid to do.. Best Life quotes of the day about Inspirational sayings “Life is like a roller coaster. Therefore, if you can share what you have, then do so; it’s better to give than to receive. Joan Rivers, You may also like: inspirational quotesmotivational quoteshappiness quoteslove quoteslife quotes, I’m not shy, I’m holding back my awesomeness so I don’t intimidate you. Woody Allen, Life doesn’t imitate art, it imitates bad television. Apr 20-May 20. Winston S. Churchill, When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye. Kids are like buckets of disease that live in your house. Dave Chappelle, Fame for me is like a place, a country I’m taking a tour through. I’m sure you’ve been bitten several times but a mosquito, and it didn’t matter if it was 50 times smaller, it still caused you agony. It’s a positive thing to talk about terrible things and make people laugh about them. By all means, you should follow that. So to keep you healthy and happy literally, enjoy these 300 funny quotes and get laughing. Mark Twain, A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on. There’s not much you can learn about an eagle from a turkey; the two are completely different. I’ve got the page numbers done. Click to tweet. Casey Stengel, A child educated only at school is an uneducated child. It can be lovely. Kevin Hart, These glasses are way 2 big for my damn face! The Case for Making AI Human-Centric. I swear to god, you could rob a liquor store in this city with a bagel. Bill Murray Click to tweet, I’m writing a book. Click to tweet. Harry Haenigsen, The problem with life is, by the time you can read women like a book, your library card has expired. Epictetus, No wonder the teacher knows so much; she has the book. I definitely look at my body and I go ‘yuck’. GET DAILY INSPIRATIONAL QUOTES IN EMAIL. Some brothers will be in the club and white people are like, “What are those niggers doing in here?” They watchin’ y’all dance. 2 thoughts to “Funny Words of Wisdom” Anonymous says: August 15, 2019 at 12:13 pm. See more ideas about wisdom, me quotes, words. Beth McCollister, I could tell that my parents hated me. Once you have complete understanding of something, and you know how to persevere through certain challenges, wisdom kicks in. Gene Perret, It is impossible for a man to learn what he thinks he already knows. Site. People who criticize you have usually never achieved anywhere near what you have. It’s the funniest joke in the world. Sep 26, 2020 - Explore A. I got caught up enjoying my last few minutes of not being here. Top 100 Quotes. ", "Appear weak when you are strong, and strong when you are weak. It keeps rodents away from the castle. Ellen DeGeneres Click to tweet, Weather forecast for tonight: dark. - Rabindranath Tagore. I’m sorry. Growing old doesn’t equate to getting boring and grumpy. I didn’t used to have to do that, but now I do. About Us. I think he’s going straight, which shows you prison does work. G.K. Chesterton, My way of joking is to tell the truth. Elayne Boosler, My wife gets all the money I make. You will never get out of it alive. Then we met. Your phone doesn’t suck. When you give, there’s something magnetic about it, and it comes back to you. Jim Carrey, It is better to risk starving to death then surrender. Along with a set of principles, they are based on a mathematical theory in order to support a set of concepts.... Human Infrastructure over Digital Infrastructure — Data Driven InvestorToday’s technologies influence not only who we are or how we get socialized but also our understanding of reality or metaphysics. Ludwig Wittgenstein, Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain. Bill Murray, A moat can be a pretty good thing. Groucho Marx, From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Groucho Marx, If you’re not having fun, you’re doing something wrong. May you find inspiration in these Words of Wisdom from my large Daily Inspiration library of inspiring quotes and inspirational words. You can laugh and enjoy life no matter how old you are. It’s inevitable that we all grow old and there’s no way around that. A bird in hand is safer than one overhead. Never follow someone else’s path unless you’re in the woods and you’re lost and you see a path. Im Waiting Patently The Wisdom That Supposedly Comes With . Funny Inspirational Quotes The shortest recorded period of time lies between the minute you put some money away for a rainy day and the unexpected arrival of rain. You’re allowed to be silly. You’ll never be as lazy as whoever named the fireplace. Yeah, I’ve got an idea for a car that runs on bald eagle heads and Faberge eggs. The Voice Of Experience Can Be Sometimes Funny and Sometimes Thought Provoking Will and Guy hope you will enjoy these examples of wisdom, knowledge and experience. Stay true to yourself. ", "Do what you can, with what you have, where you are. "The secret of your future is hidden in your daily routine." I don’t go crazy. https://twitter.com/TFLN. ", "Learn to hold loosely all that is not eternal. However, growing up is all on you. Rodney Dangerfield, I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. Lesson 1: Naked Wife A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. Abraham Lincoln, You’re only as good as your last haircut. James A. Garfield Click to tweet, Food is like sex: When you abstain, even the worst stuff begins to look good. 's board "Daily Wisdom", followed by 234 people on Pinterest. Read inspiring, positive and wisdom quotes which uplift your spirit and motivate you to follow your dreams, and helps you to live a peaceful life. ", "Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars. Naked people have little or no influence on society. Ryan Reynolds, Bob Ross is very calming. Ryan Reynolds, Airplane toilets are aggressive. Albert Einstein, The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don’t want, drink what you don’t like, and do what you’d rather not. Steven Wright Click to tweet, I have always wanted to be somebody, but I see now I should have been more specific. Ryan Reynolds Click to tweet, Don’t cry over spilled milk. 1. Ellen DeGeneres, It is failure that gives you the proper perspective on success. I don’t even believe myself when I say I’ll be ready in 5 minutes. George Carlin, Laugh often, long and loud. Don’t text or twitter during the show. I am crazy. See screenshots, read the latest customer reviews, and compare ratings for Daily Wisdom. If anyone can give funny words of wisdom, it’s Lucille Ball! Mitch Hedberg Click to tweet, The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30 percent of their ice cream.